September 26th, 2011

depressed

(no subject)

There was a very important part I skipped out of the previous entry. I mean, yes, I have an irrational -- fear's not right, but phobia's way too strong -- an irrational freak on about going to visit my family. On the other hand... You know how there's this common sorta-nightmare trope where you show up naked in high school? I have one of those recurring dreams too, except mine is all about flying somewhere, but then I lose my ticket, or totally forget my itinerary, or miss my flight, or... no, really, I have apparently got an irrational fear of traveling on my own. Or something. I don't know... It's a break in routine, it's leaving safety, I've never claimed to be a person secure in her own existence, but this is really getting silly. Everyone else does this *every day*.

It's going to be 2.5 days. I'm officially pushing 40. You'd think I could do this $h!t on my own by now without going frantic. *sigh* Maybe someday...