Jesslin She'Nedra (jesslin) wrote,
Jesslin She'Nedra

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As expected, telling Adrian was the worst part of the whole 'error: this job no longer exists' thing. I'm still tense as heck, but it's a combination of my standard reaction to uncertainty and the fact that they messed up my transit pass this month - I didn't get the bus transfer, so I'm trying to save money and get more exercise by walking (read: hustling my tushie) to the train station each afternoon. I should really get back to yoga or tai chi, just to work this off.

Of course, Adrian's having his own mini panic attacks over this. "Don't wait til last minute, make sure you get your applications in right away! " *humph grumph gurgle snrk* Gah! It was all I could do to keep from smacking him. The deadline is next Friday; it's not enough time for my procrastinating ways to get in the way. Really, it's fine, your high and mighty pushiness! "Oh no, what will this do to our vacation plans?!" D'uh, nothing? If I'm still at the same company, in any capacity, then nothing changes. The time is still mine, and all the openings are under people who I know and respect and who will respect my plans. I *know* this, and more importantly it'll be part of my hiring information. This London trip is non-negotiable.

And if for some reason I'm not re-hired by the AMA, then I deal with it as part of the job-hunt process. I can get a job anywhere; I'm practical enough to work retail again if I have to in order to survive. But I have other options and goals first, and I will pursue my dream of happy employment as far as I can before I settle. I'm better than 'settle'.

And boy! Doesn't it feel just fine to be able to say/write that and *mean* it! :D

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